Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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