yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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