Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
