Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
