Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
