last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
