I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
