I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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