oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
