I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
