I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I have fence marks all over my body
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
