i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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