I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
