The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just had sex bonerless
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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