Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
