I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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