I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
