just survived the first fart of the relationship.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
This is my gift to your gina
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
