You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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