My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
