I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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