is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
