I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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