the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Randomize
