WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize
