Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
im holly from the hills drunk
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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