please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
