It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
