I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
