I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
