like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
