"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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