I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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