We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
