I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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