Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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