I'm sorry my penis didn't work
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
