Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
