I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
