K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
