Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
