One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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