I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
