First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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