Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You can't special order awesome
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
