Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
