Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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