i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
