I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
