he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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